Tuesday, January 3, 2017
I hate that I peter out. I hate that after a few minutes of moving clutter and tossing trash, I need a break and then seem to never come back to the activity.
Some of it is age and lack of energy. Some of it is chronic pain sapping my will. Some of it is just the recalcitrant part of me that just won't do what I should.
I wish I could overcome this. I know I would feel so much happier with a clean and organized living space. All three of us would benefit from space and air and clean.
But it eludes me.
Friday, December 2, 2016
We are ramping up to Christmas and as usual the house is a hellmouth meaning we need to tidy before dragging out tree and decorations.
Working at Mattel now. Three years as of today. That's good. Stable and good for a job.
And now I don't feel like saying much else.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
I wish I had a great explanation for my extreme lack of inertia. I assume it's depression in some form. It renders me slug-like and fog-brained. I am "getting through" life instead of living it. I don't like that it's this way. I'm definitely hoping for change.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I'm not sure. Being laid off over a year ago killed my spirit for a time. Then there's all the busy-ness of trying to find a job. And working contract jobs, which are full time but pay far less than a "real" job and certainly don't come with health benefits.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
As we move quickly toward Thanksgiving (made a plan? Oh, right, I have to cook a turkey dinner...hmm...better get on that) and only slight more slowly toward Christmas (gifts? I have to think what to buy and afford them?) I feel ill-skilled to get all this done.
Even right now I need to tidy the living room as Fletcher has a pal coming over tomorrow. It's a pigsty in there. I just look at it and sigh. Then I sit on the couch and it adheres to me and I don't want to get up.
I can only hope I can overcome this lack of inertia and move in the vector of a job hunt. Easily the least favorite chore of my adult life.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Yes, I called the headhunter I used four years ago. She actually remembered me. Does that say something about me (and I hope it's good) or something about how sharp she is? Also a good thing. I'm still putting off redoing my resume. I will, really, probably tomorrow or Thursday. I just fear it. It's such a concrete admission of what's going on. Also, I managed to not get to the Unemployment office in time today. Actually, I got there 25 minutes before they closed, but they waved me off with imperious government employee waves, finally saying, "come back tomorrow."
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Which is, frankly amazing, that I could make any sort of wordplay or joke as I feel like my personality has been folded into a tiny, sad square and packed away in a little, plain box. I feel dull, stupid and scatter-brained. I'm not known for having a great memory, but I can't walk three steps without forgetting why I started.
I can only hope that as the last of the insidious virus leaves my body, or the last of the white cells reorganize my internal system, that I will get back a bit of verve. Currently, I'm verve-less. Also, I'm lacking pep, vitality, energy and wit. Yes, totally witless.
So, while, inside my head I'm thinking complex thoughts about the misery of this House bill on healthcare that passed, but was neutered by the Stupak amendment, I can't seem to express any of the usual passion for or against the inspiring and irritating political types we've been seeing on our televisions. Bear with me, I'm sure my snarky, mean and hopefully, funny self will return.