It's like I go on sabbatical

Once again it's been around six months since my last post. How to explain it. Some of it is that I post on Tumblr, or Twitter, or, while I had a contract job on Google+ and that fulfills whatever information dispensing need I have. But mostly it's that I'm still jobless, jibless, disorganized, unsuccessful and melancholy.

Time at home still hasn't produced a Martha Stewart or even a half-Martha-like cleaned up existence. I'm still not creating as much as I want and it comes in fits and spurts. The most recent finished product is this pillow that was originally a Christmas present for my Aunt (for 2010) but ended up a belated birthday present (just sent it, her birthday in July) for her. At least I finally finished it. There are many other projects I've yet to finish that started out at Xmas gifts.

I wish I had a great explanation for my extreme lack of inertia. I assume it's depression in some form. It renders me slug-like and fog-brained. I am "getting through" life instead of living it. I don't like that it's this way. I'm definitely hoping for change.

Where Have I Been?

I'm not sure. Being laid off over a year ago killed my spirit for a time. Then there's all the busy-ness of trying to find a job. And working contract jobs, which are full time but pay far less than a "real" job and certainly don't come with health benefits.

When I do post something it's over here http://andeeofwhimsy.tumblr.com/ but I'm not terribly good at doing that either. The most recent thing I've crafted is probably this bag for my sister at Xmas. I have so many other things I'm still finishing that I planned to give at Christmas. Now they will be Spring or Summer gifts.

I wish I was using this chaotic, jobless time off to whip my house into shape and craft/create up a storm. But the paralyzing nature of the unknown (in terms of a job/finances/etc) leaves me stuck.